A summer cruise should be just the ticket for a few weeks of luxury and relaxation - but for the passengers and crew of the Empress of the Ocean, the sights of the Mediterranean are nothing compared to the excitement on board...

For bickering couple Albert and Maureen, the trip might prove a much-needed escape - or the final straw. Elegant Frances de la Mare is determined to hobnob with the right kind of people - but her penthouse suite proves lonelier than she ever imagined. Meanwhile, precocious twelve-year-old Oliver discovers that guidebooks don't teach you everything, sparks fly when the port lecturer finds himself upstaged by a popular author, dancers Bruce and Babs can't keep in step, and cruise expert Neville just wants someone to speak to.

But as unlikely friendships are forged, feuds bubble in the laundry room, and everyone jostles for a seat at the Captain's table, they might find all their plans going overboard....